Timebaby

I turn on the speakers to get out of the zone. It's probably the only thing that's as comforting as your voice. I visualize purple hills keeping away the sun, something not quite as cinematic as it resonates in my head. I heard your voice the other day. It's good to know that deep inside of your skin, caught inside the landslide of you, you still believe - although you've pretty much given up on love and religion. Or maybe you're just afraid, and doubting everything affects you as your remain alone in your sickness. I want time to sink into the rearview mirror so things will always be closer than they appear. I'm always fast-forwarding through the motions so I avoid getting lost in the chemistry. What's worse - the fact that you destroyed my heart and I picked up, or that you regret it all and wish you could go back? Three weeks baby, that's all you'll ever have.
I never thought that it would all come down to four months. I slowly glance at the time to see that it has bailed out on me. Not even the minutes appreciate my stay. I'll be sleeping in a foreign bed for the rest of my life. Nothing tastes quite like home. Give me a lighter and I'll light the way. I'm a rocksteady paper plane. Cut me up with scissors.

Sooner than later, I'll learn not to love verbatim. I never received the memo that romance is dead- I thought we only kept it hidden from the mainstream audience. I slowly crawl out of bed and lay down the keyboard. It should never be this way. I subsist on words and you subsist on my tears. I hate knowing that you'll always drown out my fears. Why have I let you in? Speed up time, or black out the rest. I'm sick of experiencing this first hand. My family life is going down as classy as the Titanic. Give me an escape or just forward time. I don't want to relive. I have enough pain for a lifetime.

As Coldplay takes over the mix, I have nothing left to do but to listen to the grandiose nature of sounds surrounding me. I sink into December again. The cold air brushes my skin lightly and suddenly it all rains back to me- remember the rain and how the concrete called out your name? Nothing will ever be as sincere as the pain you hung over my head. Fuck poetics and fuck understanding. What did they ever get me? I'm sick with apprehension, and your eyes are a night sky on their own, mirages of the desert that lays past them. Paste your lips onto me. I want to die from you. Do you regret? "My nerves are poles that unfroze" but my heart is as cold as stone. "And if you love me, won't you let me know?" There's always a lack of honesty coming from confessions derived from the head. It's all about the heart. "I don't want to be a soldier who the captain of some sinking ship would stow, far below." I only want to be the anchor, so I can sink like all of my hopes. Listen baby, as the everlasting moment of time where your heart will tell you the truth that your head won't ever be bothered to believe. The burden you'll carry won't ever be as heavy as my heart. Take me apart. I want you to feel what it's like to get stuck in your head, where your thoughts speak louder than what's going on outside of it. I'm sick of being misled by your actions. I'm sick of playing games. Lights out and turn on the radio. The utopia lies within it. I'm a broken shell, covered in sand and laid out to be forgotten. Make a wish and throw me back into the sea. Horseshoes never meant a thing to me, 'cause "almost" never got me anything. Is it really a mixtape if all I have is one song? Is it ever really right when the whole world tells you you're wrong? Is it ever really love if you move on as fast as your hips? I listen ahead, the song repeats over and you come into mind.

"If you love me, won't you let me know?"
"If you love me, why'd you let me go?"