Xx

I’m falling apart and crawling through the ceiling of your dreams. I’m just waste and gone, a minimal loss to you and your dreams. Do you realize that we’re never the same? We fall apart to the different perspectives. I never felt like I had an absence of words for these emotions before. It’s all in my head; your hands down my spine, your words slithering into my ears. Your hands wrapped in mine, forever. A second meant a lifetime, and now a lifetime is gone forever. You can write me off or keep me down, but I’m gone in a moment and now it’s all lost. These are the words that are forever lost in the tubes, the ones you’ll never find, the ones that are meant for you and only you. These moments are only temporary and soon they’re just a memory. They all bank away into your head like the cumulative amount of senseless and meaningless thoughts. I’m a tax collector waiting for you to pay your dues. Senseless and emotionless, caught in a parade for the celebration of a freedom. We all fall back down, but this is the moment of your dreams.

You never felt as alive as you do right now.
I hope you know that I’m here moving forward, but the memories sting. When I think it’s finally over, you come back like the transitions in my head. Colors changing shapes, moons pasted on the sky like stickers, and the stars are all just a million fireflies. We’ll be forever locked in this cell, the one you keep, the one you made. The one you dug yourself in. Do you realize what you have done? Unleashed the loneliness upon my heart. Stray yourself afar from my dreams, the loneliest haven leading from my seams. Miss me and fall apart. I feel like my chest is pumping out every little thing that’s left from you. Letting you out and falling apart. I should’ve never let you in from the start.

Relapse and relapse and relapse and restart. Reboot and reconfigure. Restart the syntax of my heart. The constitutions I swore never to fall apart. We’re damned and confused. We’re lost and used. We’re sinking ships on the horizon, beyond the naked eye. Look closely and you’ll see a waving flag. We’re the worst kinds of lovers. The ones that feel like friends. The ones that never reveal affection, and the ones that are fickle like your brain. Compulsive, and confusing. You’re the end of the rope. Something that I will never completely grasp, but that’s just fine. When life falls apart, all we have left is a couple miles in our head from the past. I’ll move on, but for now I’m mourning. Mourning for the loss of love, but only from one part. How sad is it to be the one that is loved less? We’re just the mirror reflection of each other. Silhouettes in the dark, revealing each other’s cracks and scars. You left fingers prints all over my heart, like the footsteps taking you outside. We’re the last falling star from the sky. The final call. Curtain call. Cue in the claps, or lack thereof.

Shedding sweat on the backseat for last time’s sake. “That’s enough” but never enough for the rest. Memory is timeless, and the camera of my mind will forever hold that image against my heart. Call it a night and respond in the morning. These are the words in your brain. The words that are unsaid. The moments left unspoken. The time wrapped on your head. This will be your noose, the everlasting moment where everything changed forever. We’re not one. We’re not all. This was everything. This is nothing.