Alors on Danse

Is it fucked up that listening to that one 3oh!3 song gives me the blues? I'm pretty sure that's illegal somewhere. Copped out of my scene points. Next thing I know, I'll be listening to Lifehouse. No disrespect.
It's a funny thing, love. I've never been speechless, yet my words are stuck inside my sunken chest only coming out as sullen breaths and blissful whispers. I can't write anymore, but I want to. (Oh, the irony). My hands shake and my heart is racing but my mind is blank. I'm stuck in some sort of limbo between heartache and love and writer's block. Drowning in shallow water. I want to scream out your name, but I don't want anyone to hear me. Oh, sweet irony. Too bad I taste more sour when I'm 4,000 miles away. Fuck everything, I can't make sense. I'm struck like a clock and I'm left ringing on your ears after midnight. Maybe you'll find that ringing on your fingers, at some point. (engaged). locked. loaded. I just want you here, but I pulled your absence near so I could at least feel the emptiness left behind. Alas, I'm alone, but I know that at one point there was something here, and I guess that's what counts. These tubes lead me to you, but sometimes all we need is that touch I can't provide, and that's what's killing me. Give me a lobotomy so my mind won't kill me. My ribs are tearing apart. My heart's breaking out of its cage, and it's going after you. I'm locked in the empty hallway of an emotional brothel. Friends aren't friends and lovers are absent. This is the love song of this cabaret, where fuck buddies are the players for and love is the game. (We lost). They're getting locked and loaded. Their screeching moans and touches tend more to their souls than to their wounds. We're still naked. We're still under the rain. They drink crocodile tears to the point of inebriation. She said it's ok not to care sometimes.

And I can't understand why.

Cluster(fuck)

Summer's end on the wrong hemisphere.
CAPS LOCK ON LOVE
and everything else.
shit, got caught stealing the moonlight from somebody else
i'm addicted to addiction
(save me from myself)
theatre trade and bloodshed
fist fight under bed sheets
tears are the new rain
how far can you stretch a love
before it's ripped by someone else?
it was all a sinking cube of ice
on someone's jack - a distilled sense of self
plastic cups are just another arms trade
for lust and love and everything i hate (i love)
woke up to another seance from a former self
"i hate you but i love you and nobody else"
drinks are just the tears you haven't cried out yet
and these words are the ones you haven't thought of yet
remember to remember and forget all that you regret
got my double life showing like i'm dorian gray
picture perfect lovers but in a kodak moment kind of way
the dog days are now over
but we got nine lives anyway
so this is more of a celebration
to heal us lovers with cheap champagne
so now i'll enter hibernation
until our timezones meet again

Busy Dying

I've never been as lonely as I am now in love.

Lack of Words.

I'm only lonely without you. Am I riding your coattail to heartbreak, or am I alone in my demise? This horrible, sinking feeling overrides my body. I got moonlight exhaling from my veins, I got the blues pumping out of my chest, I got a heartbreak coming through my fingers and into the keyboard. I damn these airways that are haunted by your memory. I can't stand how destiny fell short for us, and my insecure and self-conscious mind can't seem to accept that all that we may hold onto now is hope.

My IV is every telephone line that shortens the distance between us. This transamerican love split my heart apart, stretching it through miles and miles. I have one foot in an airplane and one stuck onto the ground. I'm tearing apart at the very seams of my frail heart, but I know your worth it. Chasing the engine that separated me from you. I'm stuck in a terminal (disease) waiting for my final ride. Rolling through my words is a hidden message of a love that can't seem to be erased. Hidden through these letters and tears is the hope of redemption and time. Doctor, build me a time machine because I just can't wait. What's my heart if not just nuts and bolts and wiring gone awry?

I can't even keep my hands in place, and I can't keep my head at the same thought. It's revolting. It's revolving. It all tastes like heartbreak and alcohol and sweat. It's not just cold outside, darling. This heart is frozen in position. It's facing you. (This is me giving up my badge to you. I retire.)

The colors are flashing, but only in a black and blue kind of way. Heartbreak coded DNA. She asked me to lead her to where it feels like heaven, so I lead her to my bed.

Tonight, I lay under the same sky as you, but somehow it all seems more cloudy when I'm not sharing my bed with you.

There's Something About Mary

She asked me who is the one that loves more; the one with a bigger heart that loves so much, or the one with a smaller heart but that loves with every piece of it. I'm stuck wondering with my breath taken away, wondering what kind of a screenwriter set up our conversation. She sits on the line, expressionless - like always - but that look in her dilated wide browns screams more emotion than any single word could. Somehow people wonder how I managed to fall in love with someone they believe to be so cold. If only they knew. No, actually, I hope they don't - I want this to myself.

The city looks so much more beautiful with her voice narrating what I see. I'm just left wondering what kind of a hack destiny is for giving me such large emotions on such a young heart. Timing is everything; it's not about the right person. It's about the right time. You're giving me a fish pole without teaching me how to fish. You're giving me the wheel without teaching me how to drive. You're giving me a heart without giving me time to love.

She lays with her head on my collarbone, and my ever self-conscious mind remains worried of how comfortable she may be. If only my bones were softer. If only I could just mold to her shape of preference just to keep her here, forever. Her skin glistens, but I'm not quite sure it's only the light around us; there's something about her porcelain skin that makes her glow. And her fingers, slowly leading mine to where she wants them to be, playing with each of their counterparts before resting intertwined on her chest. I try to stop my breathing, maybe that way I wouldn't feel how I am pushing her away with every breath I'm taking. If she could read minds, she'd know that the she was the only reason I was breathing in the first place. My hand slowly strokes her left side, and she turns and whispers that I'm making her nervous. Maybe she noticed she was actually making me nervous just by looking at my eyes. I feel my chest tremble, and I worry it's annoying her. Suddenly my subtle heartbeats become tremors. I can't breathe, but it's not because I am 13,313 feet above sea level anymore. She turns her head and tilts it forward, closing her eyes. My blood boils, and my heart begins to pump out air. My head gets empty and my chest relives itself. My hands feel a close grasp, and the blackness of my shut eyes develops life and color around me. There is nothing else in this world, but the complete everything that she is. With her lips, she has killed me. With her lips, she has given my life. With her lips, she has become everything tonight.